Why I am a terrible Punisher

I have to admit that there is one thing to do with children that I find really hard.

No, not throw up-or blood-or broken bones-not even the birds and the bees...
Me I have a hard time spanking.

Although I know they need it, although that is the only thing that sometimes needs to be done. Well, it is so freaking hard for me. Unless I am really, really mad.

We had two children that deserved spankings this week.
My Mini-Me who is almost never bad had two episodes that both deserved spankings. The first one she got grounded-since I always give a second chance. The biggest rule at my house is not put your hands on anyone else and she broke that rule. So, grounded and then a few days later-she pulls a knife on her brothers-yes and not a fun play knife-one from the board! So yes she deserved a spanking-I couldn't bring myself to do it-so let Hubby do it. At first he said "I will spank her with the belt"-noooo...not that. Her butt is way too little. So he said he would use his hand and when I called back a few minutes later-the deed was done-when I asked how many whacks she got...three...ok.

So then tonight well Tweeny Todd got upset because there was an extra pan to wash-I mean screaming, tears, and alot of "no, I am not doing it". So, he was grounded, then I felt bad and I started doing the dishes. I got in trouble with hubby cause he was going to make him do them. Well I left him the pans and he came out of his room and started about how we didn't care, he couldn't wait to move off and never see my face again! Well that was the stick that broke the camels back and that started an hour long-"poor me" ending with a spanking. My hubby handed me the belt-and I gave him chances to get out of it and he wouldn't so I told him he could have 20 licks-but once I got out 10 I couldn't do it and left. My hubby said that was not even hard and he was screaming "is that it-it was only 10-why was it not harder". My hubby yelled back to him"Because she loves you" Wait TT's little mind started going-I thought they didn't even care and yet she can't spank me.

So even though I will do it I hate hitting them, I hate spanking them because it makes me think of my childhood and that was not good.