This Just in...

Just so that everyone knows-the Weight Watchers program is working!!

I have lost 5Lbs!!

Go me-now i I can just keep that up I will be all good!

Also, went to new doctor today, really love the PA that I saw-Wendy was awesome, didnt make me feel bad or anything-awesome women!

Yippee

Why Fast Food Annoys me...

OK, so I have started my new lifestyle-using Weight Watchers and watching what I am eating. Well I always like to give myself a little treat now and then-not a crazy fat filled whole day-but a treat never the less. My favorite thing these days is frozen coffee-my favorite frozen coffee-McDonald's Mocha Frappe. This frappe is fantastic! So, I was like lets figure out how bad it rally is-its just frozen coffee right....wrong!

From McDonald's Website:

Ok so the Medium size
16 oz
Calories-560
Total fat-24g
Saturated(the bad stuff) 15g
carbs-78g
Sugars 70g

So Points Value??-13 points-more than a steak, potato with sour cream and veggies

Alright-so holy freaking cow!!
I can do better right?
Well they have a Carmel one too, since I have the ingredients for the Carmel I will make it-first will post that total-
Caramel Frappe
16 oz
550 Calories, 24 g of fat,15 Sat fat, 76 Carbs, and 71 Sugars

Amy's Frappe

Ok I started with Coffee(30 cal, 0),Vanilla Caramel Creamer(60 cal, 3 Fat), splenda added for sweetness-total so far-90 Calories-To this I added a no calorie, no fat, caramel syrup I found in the coffee isle-it smells awesome. So I poured this and ice into blender and several minutes later I had my Frappe-I then added whipped cream a whole 20 calories to top.

Lets compare-the taste by the way-mine was better and had more coffee taste. It did take me a few minutes-couldn't just drive through-but besides that I shaved-460 calories, 21 grams of fat, all of the sat fat and sugars. So, whats the deal?? Why does McDonald's say this is blended coffee-how the hell do they get 24 grams of fat in there? Caramel is fat free naturally-coffee is low cal and no fat-so my question is are they adding fat to something that could be just a tasty frozen treat-I think that the answer is YES!!

So, next shopping trip I am going to try to make me a Mocha one-have some ideas how to make it-without all the extra fat!!

How else do fast foods annoy me-they take something healthy-salad, chicken, etc and may it bad for you-I hope America wakes up and stops letting them get away with it!!

Ok-here we go again

I have an addiction-really a complusion. I am fat-I like to eat and all the bad things too. So, this year we have cut out fried foods(occasionally I do get some);I am eating more veggies, turning down bread and processed food. I lost about 30 lbs felt real good about myself-so I slacked off!! Bad-Amy

Now I have decided that I have gained too much back and off to the diet race I go again. The thought is, how am I going to keep myself on track this time? I am making a pact with myself and will track progress here!

1-I will write down everything I consume-no cheating-even if it is bad!
2-If I have a craving I will try to devert my attention with something else.
3-I will weigh only once a week!
4-I will reward success with money into an account instead of food! maybe a dollar for each pound-I know its only 100 bucks after I am finished-or less-but it is something!
5-I will do measirements/weights and write them down even if they are bad.
6-My goals will be small-10% at a time
7-I will ask for help from my husband
8-I will not deprive myself to the point I am ready to eat coco powder all by itself
9-I have done this before-I can do it again
10-I will stop yo-yo!!

Ok, so there I go-a pact with me and me alone! I wish me luck and only have to say that I am already beautiful, smart, funny, and loving-now lets just add healthy and diabetes free(have type 2)!

Why I am a Terrible Blogger

LMAO-has it really been since 2008 that I blogged? I guess so, but hey-its not like I had followers that were craving my words of wisdom-or at least I think that is the case-right???

Well, I am looking for a place to collect my thoughts-to babble on to myself on "paper" instead of in my head!! I think it is going to explode if I don't get some of them out-so here it goes again. If I can get them out maybe I can become a little less idle at home. Although the bed may miss me, I hate cleaning and this will give me somewhere to talk about the things that are going on.

So, currently I am researching the subject of Poyamory-Polgyny-Polyandry-etc,etc... Why you may ask am I researching this subject? More for my own curiosity than anything. I used to think that a person could only love or better be "in" love with one person at a time, this was when I was young a would let myself think this. Now I do believe that it was a coping mechanism that helps the human being move on. Just think if we continued to love a person how hard would that be. Could we go on and believe that what we thought was love was nothing more than a virus caused by lust? We could...but is that the truth?

I have had many loves-I had my first love(whom I am now married to after 20-something years), I have my "high-school" sweetheart, my first husband, my married friend, and my current boyfriend. OK so that makes what-5, is it possible that all 5 times I was wrong?

I guess the question is how many of these 5 am I still in Love with? The answer is 4-the ex-husband killed any feeling that I had for him many years ago! So technically I am currently in love with 4 people-is it fair? Not really... Do I actively reach out to all of them-yes. Do I still wonder what I am thinking...all the time!

I mean-first-I love my husband-I adore him, we have a great marriage-except-there is always an except with me and men. Hence the wondering about Polyamory! So, have dabbled in Swinging-Blah!!! Have gotten the ok to have a boyfriend-ok-this is working out-well maybe.

So second problem-3 of the 4 are married and as such cannot be mine-not totally that is. I will take what I can, usually friendship and flirting. I can handle that, well maybe not. I dont want to ruin any marriages, I do not want to be the "other" women that broke up a perfectly fine family. However, one of the 4 has permission to have a girlfriend, but...how open is she really?? In my perfect world, what if the social aspect of having one and only one partner were unnatural? I want to be able to love, be loved and not be hindered by old-fashion norms- I want to be able to show my love-no not sex-love. I am a strange creature really-love is a strong emotion that until recently I thought we could manage-hence the forgetting-but that is not true-I have no control-4 of the 4 mentioned above-I am actively "in love" with-meaning my heart beats faster, I smile, I get all nervous and silly, and I want to hug, kiss, etc them all the time when around them. This doesnt take away from my husband, cause he is one of those that makes my heart skip-but he gets me(what a prize). He gets me all the time, my good and my bad. In essence he is doing all the work, but sharing the rewards. Then again, is love different with him depending on the closeness? Anoher good question.

So, I am delving into this subject-cause people are weird, we create so many things-laws etc that make no sense and go against the teachings of religion. Religion itself is against itself-well that is another topic. As I wonder and search for answers all I can do it think what a perfect life for me would be.....

hmmm next post-Amy's perfect 4 man marriage!!

Why I am a terrible Punisher

I have to admit that there is one thing to do with children that I find really hard.

No, not throw up-or blood-or broken bones-not even the birds and the bees...
Me I have a hard time spanking.

Although I know they need it, although that is the only thing that sometimes needs to be done. Well, it is so freaking hard for me. Unless I am really, really mad.

We had two children that deserved spankings this week.
My Mini-Me who is almost never bad had two episodes that both deserved spankings. The first one she got grounded-since I always give a second chance. The biggest rule at my house is not put your hands on anyone else and she broke that rule. So, grounded and then a few days later-she pulls a knife on her brothers-yes and not a fun play knife-one from the board! So yes she deserved a spanking-I couldn't bring myself to do it-so let Hubby do it. At first he said "I will spank her with the belt"-noooo...not that. Her butt is way too little. So he said he would use his hand and when I called back a few minutes later-the deed was done-when I asked how many whacks she got...three...ok.

So then tonight well Tweeny Todd got upset because there was an extra pan to wash-I mean screaming, tears, and alot of "no, I am not doing it". So, he was grounded, then I felt bad and I started doing the dishes. I got in trouble with hubby cause he was going to make him do them. Well I left him the pans and he came out of his room and started about how we didn't care, he couldn't wait to move off and never see my face again! Well that was the stick that broke the camels back and that started an hour long-"poor me" ending with a spanking. My hubby handed me the belt-and I gave him chances to get out of it and he wouldn't so I told him he could have 20 licks-but once I got out 10 I couldn't do it and left. My hubby said that was not even hard and he was screaming "is that it-it was only 10-why was it not harder". My hubby yelled back to him"Because she loves you" Wait TT's little mind started going-I thought they didn't even care and yet she can't spank me.

So even though I will do it I hate hitting them, I hate spanking them because it makes me think of my childhood and that was not good.

Changes

Time changes and there are times when I wish that things would stay the same. Then again, change is good. So, what me-nothing has changed me lately? Well thoughts that are in my mind make me wonder what is going on-am I crazy-what should I do with all these thoughts. I have not been writing because well I get busy doing-who knows and never get to write down what is going on.

Well it is April and in May I am going to walk across the stage and become a college graduate. I have been looking hard for a job, one that has a promise of perhaps paying for those loans I took out to get trough college. I recently had to go to the doctor so I'm trying harder than ever to find a job that has health insurance benefits. My job now has the benefit of your birthday as a paid holiday-whoppee!! Anyway, good new on that front is that I got a slight raise, I am now salaried, witch means that I don't have to do the clock watching.

So,in my Private life there is so, so much that I could write here. We were doing so well, we were actually connecting in ways that were wonderful-then nothing. Literally every thing stopped and he began the great-play on the computer all the freaking time. I mean I love him and I try to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he just does this like I like to read books-but at least if he asked me to, I would be there to watch TV with him, I would stop everything if he were to just ask-him-no way-no way at all. Sometimes I fell totally alone when he is right in the room with me-so what to do-scream, cry? No, i will just write it down and every now and then complain about it. So sad-

The kids-well they are a constant happy place, except they have the terrible fighting problem. Only with each other-fight about everything and it is soooo incredibly annoying, I want to cry with frustration-but hey that would just not work! Evan is totally teenage annoying and the other two are just regular child annoying.

This post sounds like I am unhappy-unfortunately right now-that happens to be true!

wow am I slack!

Yes indeed, I let February pass by without blogging-well, I am also drinking Diet Coke more-less water-wrong way right? There has been action around the house-too much for this women to tell you the truth. Last year at this time I was stressed out about the wedding, this year I am trying not to kill my children, well one really.

Evan had a birthday in Feb-making him 12 years old! A real tween-yes we have hit the puberty time. I am a little discombobulated-cause I remeber being a little weird feeling, but then again I started my period and grew titties. What exactly happens to a boy-not so sure. I try to understand but the disrespect, the dishonesty, the constant mind peircing "no""don't want to", I swear I understand why my parents liked to smack me and my brothers. Eye rolling-all of it. Well, it finally all went "BOOM" last week. I got a call that Evan had been in an altercation in the hallway with another student. He was suspended from school for three days. So, he was grounded, he was talked to. I try my best, I give it all I got and just feel let down each time. I felt at the end of my rope, so who do I ask for parenting advice from-my parents. I think I was really desperate, right. Well, they all said that maybe it was that they didn't feel like they got alone time with us.

So, my solution-every wednesday we will play a family game together-or watch a movie-I already picked one child per week to decide what to do. That way less fighting. Also I am having a breakfast date with each of the kids-Kyle was this weekend. He wanted IHOP-I tried to converse, but he was too interested in eating his pancakes and going to Walmart to pick out his birthday present. Yes my little boy turned 8 yesterday-crazy, they are all getting so old-not babies anymore.

So, then I had a little scare of my own. My normally right on time aunt Flo-she decided not to come on time. So, by Saturday it had been like 9 days and I was getting a little nutty thinking-what if. Well, my problem is that my tubes are tied-well clipped really, so if I did get pregnant-it may be in the tube and could cause some mega problems. Well, I told hubby I was worried, he said not to, cause he was positive that he han't done the deed that caused pregnancy-but anyway!! Finally on Sunday Aunt Flo did show her ugly little head. What this scare did to me, like the scare in July is does hubby want a baby? I do, well at least I will take it if it happens, it would be a miracle, so I would gladly accept a new baby. Hubby, well I don't know. I think he is thinking that three is enough-but if it happened then he would work with it then. So, I know I will not be getting the $4000 or more surgery, so what is left-well there are millions of babies that are given away each year-some that just need a home. So, maybe when we get our new house with enough room, I can talk him into adopting a baby-or two!:)